My resolution

On the days leading up to the new year, I was slightly confused and afraid of the new year.
The new experiences, people and memories that it would give me.
I was afraid of all the mistakes I would make and all the people I might lose.
All the important decisions I might have to make and all the dangers I will come across scared me to hell.
Also the realization that I wasn't getting any younger made me feel woozy.

Although my resolution for this year has little to do with this blog.
I feel that it's important to me to be able to lay this out in front of myself.
As the new years passed and I started calming down.
I realized that although I have every reason to be afraid of 2011 and all the new experiences, mistakes and misfortunes I will encounter. I'd rather spend my time readying myself for them than to sit around waiting and worrying.
Life's too short to spend it worrying all the time.
Life's also too short to not have time for anything else but working to pay off the bills.
SO, this year I'll be comfortably saving so I can finally get some "emergency money" up and going as well as some money for stuff like a Malaysia trip and a bike =p
2011 doesn't feel like it's gnna be huge...then again neither did last year! (look where I ended up)
I also know that I have everything and everyone to see me through the year....through my life.
I owe thanks to my friends for an amazing year.
And to my girlfriend TB for all her love or me through out last year and the years to come. Can't wait for the adventures we'll see through together in our adventure story =]

Tangled in your smile

I don't know if fate is worth believing in.
I have all these ideas about what I should be, who I should be.
What I should look like to other people, how I should act and feel.
I answers all these questions I have for myself with one word answers, never giving it a second thought.I now feel useless and stupid.
Wondering what I'm trying to do.
Everywhere I look, there's one of my friends or someone I know doing better at me in something I've wanted to be good at so badly.
I want to be known for something.
Acknowledged for something I've done.
I'm not saying I haven't accomplished anything.
They're just not very interesting accomplishments.
I feel deflated and dumb, useless and crappy.

However, I have found someone that provides me with relief from this everlasting disease called the "Never-beens disease." Has someone ever told you something casually in a conversation between you and them, and realized that just that one sentence or one word made you feel a lot more better about yourself? Or when they look at you and ignore what you haven't accomplished preferring to acknowledge the fact that you're trying?
Maybe it's just me being a loser and finding some kind of relief.
But it's something wonderful to know that someone is proud of you. So proud in fact, that they speak of it all the time. Letting you know just how much of a lovable loser you really are.

She's got me high,
I never wanna come down.
Because she's there at the end of the day to let me know just how proud she is of me for trying.