Blood, Sweat and Burns

I'm getting better at what I do.
Paying the rent and bills monthly.
Work.
Tafe.
Life.

But I can't help but feel I've lost much more than I have gained walking down this path. I've lost more than I ever planned to, and I feel that I will just keep losing and losing, until my life just isn't worth getting up in the morning for.
I've lost my friends because of work and tafe, it's safe to say that I've lost most of them now. I've lost interest in whats "fun" to do with what friends I have. I've lost almost all interest in keeping fish because of the money I don't have. I'm losing interest in schoolies, preferring to work past it towards a "better cause." I'm losing interest in the image I portray to the outside world (Don't say you don't do it...fine, then explain why you're wearing clothes.)

Stedeford Lane

I visited a few apartments in North Melbourne today as part of my TAFE assignment.
I also had a very calming train ride home afterward.
What I can't get out of my head, is how far away I am from what I want and where I want to be.
The apartments I saw today were awesome, breath taking.
It made me realize how far, far away I am from anything I want to achieve.
Made me feel small, and unnoticeable.
I will never be a lawyer, I will never be a dentist or accountant.
I will never, ever be someone of significance.
I will never be able to live up these dreams of mine.
Of living in a ridiculously beautiful home, having a happy family and living a life without the shit I live with now.