Closing my eyes.

I really have let go these few weeks.
Working eight days weeks, then requesting one day off to spend over 150 dollars on a night of alcohol, drugs and sex.
Thats happened three times now.
I feel triumphant, but at the same time a coward.
I'm changing.
My friends, they seem ignorant, childish and stupid.
My job, seems almost as important as wiping your ass.
William Angliss is the only thing that keeps me alive and breathing.
And finding a girl is still a distant memory.

I know that I'm changing.
I know that my outlook on life and the world is changing.
I know that my feelings towards people is changing too.
Maybe it comes with leaving high school?
Or maybe it comes with realizing just how different your are to your friends after all.
What am I?
Who do I fit in with?
What goes through my head?
What makes me laugh, cry and smile?
What ever happened to my old self?
What will I become?
I must say that now, I really understand how people can be psychologically addicted to drugs.

Dangerous they are.
Dangerously delicious.