Up for Lease

Self evaluation.

I'm putting myself up for re-evaluation.
This time, I'm not actually sure what's happening to me.
These past few months have just been an express rocket downhill.
Last month has been the only month of the year where I've actually been at school every day.
Whether or not I'll be passing year eleven is a real wonder.
After an over view and quick evaluation of my current situation.
I've come to a conclusion that I'm fucked.
I have been since the start of the year, but it's been hard to really distinguish what I've been looking at through the microscope.
My academic and professional life is in ruins.
As a result my social life has slowed down, however this "slowing down" of my social life has lead me to some pretty interesting experiences.
On a positive note, I now have new friends and to add on to the positives list I now have a partner.
However, what really troubles me is my academic and professional side of life and my stance in all of it.
I've been recently offered an option of leaving highschool for a more hands on education at the William Angliss Institute.
Which is where I'll end up whether or not I complete highschool.
However, what troubles me is whether or not I should keep fighting the battle to finish highschool...Exams...class...homework...assignments.
It's true, an Enter would really help later on in my life.
But am I willing to withstand another year of pain fighting a battle I know is going to result in low scores anyway?
it's a question I have to answer myself, I'm fully aware of that.
Naturally, I'm afraid of the consequences that will follow if my decision was to fall towards leaving school early.

Do I have the sweet release from the pressures of highschool and prepare for the struggle later on?
Or do I withstand the torture just to end up where I will be anyways.
It sounds oh so sweet to leave school, but the consequences which follow sound oh so bitter sweet. Friends, graduating, formals, exam pressure and parties.
Are they not a quintissential part of one's childhood?
Hospitality will definitely be my profession for the next few years.
Statistics show that a person will change their "career paths" at least six times in their life time.
Without an Enter, I will not find it easy to change my career path.
Do I really want that?
Do I want to risk everything in my future for an easy way out of highschool?

This troubles me.
It plays with my sense of stability and control.
I crave the release, yet I cringe at the imagination of my future.
I've devised one plan to aid in my decision, yet I need more than just one to seal the envelope.
By the end of this year, if my exam scores turn up short, it will be the end of my highschool life and the start of my fast-track to being a chef.
This year definitely is a roller coaster ride I never agreed on.
Rules and guidelines do not exist anymore do they.
I make my own decisions and face my own consequences.
This is life, and this life is mine to lead.
God save me, lead me and guide me.
Let no stray thoughts hinder my search for life.

End.