Siapa cintaku?

Semua pos yang saya menulis untuk blog ini tentang siapa cintaku.
Tapi, saya menulis banyak sekali pos tentang subyek ini karena saya pun tak tau siapa cintaku.
Saya mau cari cintaku, tapi saya tidak sabar sekali.
Saya tak tau mangapa mau cari cintaku.
Tak tau mengapa saya sangat tak sabar.
Tetapi ada sedikit orang baik hati yang saya cintai.
Orang ini, adalah perempuan yang cantik sekali.
Baik hati...lucu...dan sangat menarik!
Saya pun mau cintaku memilihari ikan tropis atau saku ikan yang saya memilihari.
Mengapa? Karena, cintaku harus jalan dengan saya ke beli ikan di toko ya?
Saya bermimpi juga...

Dalam hudupan saya.
Kurang lebih tujuhbelas tahun.
Saya ada due cinta.
Cinta satu bernama Kana.
dan cintaku kedua bernama Rach.
Dua cintaku ini saya cinta sekali.
Tapi hari ini, saya tak cakap-cakap dengan mereka.
Megapa?
Saya tak boleh cakap dengan mereka tanpa ingin perasaan yang sedih.
Aduh, saya tak tau megapa dua cintaku tak cinta saya.
Hmm, tapi Rach capak dia cinta saya di telepon Minggu depan.
Dia di Malaysia!
Megapa!!!!!!
Saya mau lari ke rumahmu!!!
Saya merindukan kamu lah.
Saya mau pergi ke Malaya cari kamu lah.

Bahasa Indonesia saya sangat keras hahahahaha
Saya capak bahasa indonesia bersama anak cacat.

Pawns on a race track.

A realization over time.
We as humans, start life with birth and end life with death.
During life, we survive to reproduce hence creating new life and aiding in the continuation of the species and maybe even evolution.
Of course evolution takes hundreds of millions of years, but that's beside the point.
The life cycle of humans in underlined by those two sentences.
Heck the life cycle of almost every living organism can be described with those two sentences.
However, what differentiates us from other living creatures.
Is the way our lives branch off as to how we live it.
MILLIONS of different branches.
This is due to our ability to make decisions and our extreme intelligence.
Making decisions, learning, inventing, building.
These are all part of why we are here today.
Some live simple lives mainly fulfilling one's everyday needs.
Food, water and shelter.
And some live intricate lives in which education and a "better, more fulfilled" life is created and lived.
Things get complicated when we consider the latter.
Take a baby for instance.
It needs food, shelter, water and protection.
We provide all those things plus medical attention, education, clothes, sports teams, cars and microwaves.
From the latest medical sciences and practices to planting potatoes.
Almost every facet of a human's life is constantly upgraded, made better and more efficient.
During life we go through school to better our understanding of the world, we go through work to provide for ourselves and others. We have times of leisure in order to relax from everyday life, we go through weddings in order to tie ourselves by law to the one we love.
All these things, work, school love, marriage, money, stress.
All of these we have invented ourselves through our lifestyles.
And my what crazy life-styles us humans live.
We all work towards owning a 6 acre mansion driving Cadillacs, drinking bottles Corvoisier and snorting Columbian cocaine.
We are almost programmed by centuries of rules, laws and expectations to strive for a life of the rich, powerful and sometimes even famous.
Some of us make it, most of us fall in between and some fall just short.
Through the lives of everyone we worry, hate, love, like, dislike.
It seems to me as if nothing can go wrong, the human race will only continue to advance and power it's way through existence.
Indestructible, almighty, supreme.

Life is so easy, so carefree these days that we forget just what our weaknesses are.
We control so many things in our world that we forget what controls us.
We are held by the neck, yet we forget who's hands they are.
Doesn't anyone else feel weak?
Like a dog on a leash, commanded to live until death.
The beauty of humans, living with a reason.

Immaculate imaginations of the untaken

Me and Jit saw the most amazing moon rise tonight.
It was huge and ORANGE!
Very romantic.

Everyone has the ability to imagine.
In this case imagining the perfect way to meet "the one."
Whether it be in the pouring rain or bright sunshine.
On a driveway or on-top of the world.
We all have our little giggles and smiles when we start to imagine and write ourselves a little love story in our heads.

Our imagination runs wild when it comes to meeting "the one". When i fall into one of my day dreams during school or at home. And wherever i fall into the day dream, that's what a day dream about. The other day, i day dreamed about a new girl joined one of my class and we instantly clicked. It always makes me smile, just a the possiblities. THen my friends always have to go and snap me out of my day dream.

I always catch myself smiling by myself whenever I think about my trips back to Malaysia. Sure, it'll never be possible for me to keep a long distance relationship going. But the thought of just meeting someone new and interesting from a totally different planet just intrigued me.
I guess the possibilities are endless.

What really interests me, is why I imagine and day-dream about something like this.
Is it because I'm a desperate soul looking for a quickie or am I deprived of intimacy with another. Or do I just have fantasies to satisfy my labido.

Sometimes i feel like i have two consciousnesses, i know that you have a sub-conscience which your not suppose to be able to hear but it influences your actions. But i seem to have two consciousness, one trying to do work or do what i'm supposed to be doing. The other is always thinking about, crushes, how i can make relationships work and how to even start them. I suppose that's the down side to having a flowing imagination, it distracts you.
But i just can't help but to smile. Maybe it's what keeps me going.

Jitrin is so, relationship and girl driven.
I wrote two paragraphs.
Jitrin wrote a book.
hehehehehehehehe

2009

Google

I hopped on google images to look up "hot Asian guys."
Who knows maybe I really am bent over?
Found some pretty interesting pictures.

Gives me an idea how what I want to work towards.
And what I don't want to end up as.
Gives me and Idea of how long and how much effort I have to put into my body.
I have to say though.
I've six kilos under my target weight for this year.
One month to go, I can probably shave off another kilo.
Which would result in a gain of 5 kilos this year.

Apart from my attempts to look like Bruce Lee,
My General Assessment Test for Box Hill TAFE is tomorrow arvo.
I'm still finding it hard to take this seriously, I mean c'mon.
It's Box Hill TAFE!

had a couple of weeks break since my first exam, Biology next Tuesday followed by PE and English. Then to top it off with my Indonesian written and listening and the William Angliss Interview.

After that, I'm free.
Free to party to my heart's content.
Oh! I've got my job back at the aquarium too.
The pay is a bit higher, with a pay rise coming New Year-ish.
I'm still going to look for a job in a restaurant.

Annnd, that's what's happening in my life.
Written in a very bland and mediocre form