Like a love letter but not.

Had a close friend ask me if everything was alright.
The only thing goin through my head was to lie or not.
Is it a sin to lie to a friend?
Is it a sin to lie all together?

I didn't know why I lied.
Didn't know why I just didn't tell him why and break down in the tears that have been waiting to be let out since sixth grade.
I don't see why I hold this all in.
Don't see why I let it get to me, erode my body, my soul.
"My life is your life" were the words that finally stuck us together.
For life is our promise.
For life it will be.
I never wanted to lie to you.
Never wanted to have to get the eye from you.
I know that you can see it in my eyes.
I know you can hear it in my voice.
But I can't, I just can't think about it at this moment.
I need the walks again.
I need to be able to run away again.
To paradise, to where ever makes me feel nice.
I can't stand the guilt of lieying to you.
Can't hold it from you much more.
You're like a lover, with stronger bonds.
Stronger promises and stronger histories together.
I promise I'll tell you in time.
When these dark days pass.
When I can welcome the lights behind these dark clouds.
Although times are tough, times are rough.
I can promise, that nothing will keep us from being together.
Brothers forever.

Luke, I know you can't read this.
Thats why I wrote this here.
I didn't mean to lie to you like that.
We've been best friends for so long and I can't stand having to lie to you about why I haven't been going to school for so long.
But I promise I'll tell you in time.
When these dark times are over.
I promise I'll open up to you like we used to.
Share everything and make sure you know whats going on.
I totally regret mechanically churning out those words to your face.
I didn't mean it to be like that.
I know you could tell in my eyes.
That I was avoiding having to answer truthfully.
We've been brothers for so long.
I know that we share our problems and get through it together.
But, I think this one is for myself.
I have to climb this mountain myself.
But once it's over, I'll explain why I did it.
Brothers forever bro.

TJ