Swim away.

My step mom found out she had breast cancer today.
Explains why dad went to Taiwan.

Don't really know what to feel at the moment.
Don't really want to feel anything.
At least the holidays are here.
I can shut myself in the bathroom and just stare out the window for hours on end...

Imagination.
One of the most wonderful aspects of being a human.
Not the imagination where children become dinosaurs or animals.
Although crawling around pretending to have claws and sharp teeth were the best of times.
I'm talking about the imagination where you leave this god-forbidden place.
Leave all of it behind.
I always just sit propped up against the bathroom wall just staring outside the window.
Could say I feel as if I just melt.
Melt into the floor and float away into the ocean.
I feel as if I'm weightless.
Invincible.
Float away into a place where I feel just at home where I am.
Where my heart is settled, my soul is at peace with it's surroundings.
Where water just fills the gaps and light shines in the darkest of places.
All my questions answered and all my fears scared away.
No-one around me, just me, myself and I.
No thinking, no reminiscing, no reminders and deadlines.
No likes or dislikes.
No need to lean on something when I feel dizzy.
Guess I just want to swim away from my life for a while.
Just a while.

I'm in a deafening room with a hundred billion people all shouting to one another.
I need to find a room of my own.
File all these stupid thoughts away and re-join the rest.

Guess I just take these new set of challenges in the gut and just keep on walking.

"Life is just an hour-glass glued to the table"